Sunday, October 22, 2006

No soy tu tesoro, no soy tu encanto, no soy tu cielo y, desde luego, no soy tu cari... Es más, ni siquiera me conoces

El único contexto en el que admito la palabra “cari”, ya sea aplicada a perros o a personas —jamás a mí—, es en los siguientes supuestos:

Supuesto nº 1: Si tu nombre es Carla Goyanes y hablas de tu madre. O bien si en casa te llaman Caritina y, con toda razón, quieres que la gente deje de emplear semejante aberración onomástica al grito de: “¿Cari, yo? Cari TU PUTA MADRE”.

Supuesto nº 2: Si te encanta el cine y estás hablando de tu actriz favorita: Cary Grant. Uy, ¿dije actriz? Bueno, Santa Fran Leibovitz hace tiempo que dio en el clavo: “Escarba detrás de un actor y encontrarás… una actriz”.

Supuesto nº 3: Si perteneces al Consejo Argentino de Relaciones Internacionales y, en una cena con desconocidos, alguien te pregunta por tu trabajo.

Supuesto nº 4: Si eres diseñador gráfico y tratas de hacerle entender a un cliente que ese color, entre mierda y gris ceniza, con el que has creado su logo es de color cari, aunque en ese caso te aconsejo que utilices la pantonera, o mejor, que JAMÁS emplees ese tono. No lo entenderán.

En caso de que alguien emplee esa palabra fuera de cualquiera de los cuatro supuestos anteriores, para mí está MUERTO SOCIALMENTE. Muerto y enterrado.

¿Entiendes, cari?

8 Comments:

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